Hamster Alert: Josh Hawley Needs To Resign (Now!!)
Josh Hawley is a fraud. He needs to either resign or buy a time machine and take his geeky self back to the America he wishes to live in. There is also succession. However, he will live in a landlocked country and will need to come up with trade policy, vs. coming up with oppressive laws for blacks, gays, and women. He wins our 2021 Hamster Award and is definitely a rodent to the freedoms of the people of America. Don’t let the boyish cute smile and the way he opens his mouth (reminiscent of a gay 1980s porno movie) fool you. He’s a cockroach who has blood on his hands.
You know you’re bad, when your Jedi Master mentor wants to drop you like a hot potato (minus any cheese). This man is vile. Where do we begin? Let’s start with number 1.
- Lying To The Police: The ever so fictional Antifa tried to break into his home. No Dorothy. Protesters across the street, being monitored by the police. Never ever came close to the house and his beloved baby (wish we wish no harm too or wife). But you know the optics he was going for with his base. We’ll give you The 411: “I’m a hard-working white man and a Christian. My beautiful wife and baby (save the children) are being threatened by those liberal, commie, darkie BLM people. Oh my goodness, lions-tigers-and-bears. What is Scarlett O’Hara from MO supposed to do now.
- The Election: Don’t get us started. Not challenging his sparsely populated state that Putin’s Boyfriend easily won. No, only where the cities are (code for black people, Latinos, gays, and women).
- The Capitol Riots: This hamster seems to have had “inside info.” that the mayhem was coming forth, like a bodybuilder stud with a virgin wife on their wedding night. How did he know this? He has super powers? No bitch, someone in tRUmp Naz-lite administration told him. That’s our guess and hypothesis. We’ll let his publisher sum up what we witnessed and saw. – “We take seriously our larger public responsibility as citizens, and cannot support Senator Hawley after his role in what became a dangerous threat to our democracy and freedom,” a statement from the publishing house said. Double snap, like a drag queen who just told the second runner-up, “To back it up, that’s my crown.”
- Mentor Hates Him: From the Washington Post – “Yet after a mob of Trump supporters burst into the Capitol on Wednesday, Danforth said that campaigning for Hawley to take his old seat was “the worst mistake I ever made in my life.”” That came from the man who campaigned for him and his mentor, and ex-friend. Wow!
In closing, this guy has to go now. There has to be a news room at Fox for him to work from or go back to consulting or legal work or something. But the games he played with peoples lives is insane. Yes, elections are important and their integrity. But he’s fake on this too. He had no care for Russian meddling prior to the election. Also, the people spoke loud and clear. Outnumbering his voters, from their land locked state that is sparsely populated. So again, we said our peace. We’ll be doing more of these in the future. Ciao….
What is a hamster? – (Term 1) A cute fuzzy creature that loves to run the wheel. OR, (Term 2) in a political context; an obnoxious man with small sexual organs (like a hamster); who is trying to ruin the Dream of The World, called AMERICA. Trying to make it into something else, like Nazi Germany in WW2, or Mussolini’s Italy or like Putin’s Russia. Honorable mention goes to Spain under the fascists and apartheid South Africa too. Josh Hawley likes that flavor the most. Or, just taking America back to the time when Afro-Americans picked cotton for free and WOMEN knew their place. There are other rumors floating around the “Gayplex” in DC. But that’s for others to expose. Say hello to our new political satire columns and updates. Be good to one another and try no to kill your fellow citizen. The Purge is just a movie and it should stay that way. For the sake of the country, decency, seniors, women we love, and children. Ciao…